Ok, I just HAVE to share how awesome my God is! I have always believed he is there for us, loves us, and will always meet our needs. I have also always believed he hears all of our prayers. Sometimes it may seem like he doesn't, when the things we pray for may not be answered the way we wanted them to be, but he does! I believe God knows the future. So, when we pray for something to happen, and it doesn't, it is because God could see farther than what we see at that moment. He knows what the future holds and what is really best for us! I am ashamed to say there have been MANY times I have prayed for something that was selfish on my part. If I didn't get what I prayed for soon enough, I would try and take matters into my own hands and manipulate things to work out the way I wanted. Well, I think I have FINALLY found a place in my relationship with God to ask God for what my heart desires, but LEAVE IT IN HIS HANDS! I have realized that when I try to force things to happen the way I want them to, that is turns out to be a disaster. Instead, if I have faith and trust in him, I am MUCH better off because I am following his will. I desire THAT (being in his will) MORE than I have desired anything in my entire life. As many of you know I want to be a stay at home mommy more than I have ever wanted anything. I have prayed for this to happen and will continue to pray until God either gives me peace about returning to work or until he works it out somehow. Either way, I am fine, because I am trusting him with my life. So with that being said, I want to share with you how God has shown himself to me over the past few months and helped me to surrender all my desires to him like I never have before. I will never again try to plan my life. Instead, I am letting God lead the way! :)
First, after Sumner was born, we had outrageous hospital bills! In fact, by the time it was all said and done, our bill for both me and Sumner totaled $19,500.00! Thankfully, we have great insurance (which is the driving force for me continuing to work), so after it paid, we owed roughly $3500.00. Well, a few weeks after Sumner was born he started having some problems. Nothing life threatening (praise God), but it was scary none the less! He had several tests and procedures done which added to our hospital bill and had to be on two $90 a month co-pay medications. Through the process of paying for his medicine and taking him to the doctor, being the tight budget person I am, I began to feel stressed about how much we were spending. Well a month went by and we never received a bill from the hospital. Then another month. Then another.... So, one day I decided to check on things because we were going to go ahead and pay for it all and just get it over with. When I called, I asked what the total was for my labor/delivery plus Sumner's procedures he had been having. She replied, $667.76. I said "Are you sure? Could you please double check?". She did and said yes, I see where insurance paid all but $3500 of labor/delivery and I see all the procedures your son had, and since he DID have those procedures, you have met a different deductible so insurance went back and covered ALL of your labor/delivery. All you owe is $667.76 and if you pay it in full you get a discount! I couldn't believe it! I called Matthew and he couldn't believe it either! He came home that day and wrote them a check so all we had to pay for EVEYTHING was around $500. That was my first WOW moment! I had been worrying and praying about all of this and I shouldn't have worried at all. God had it in control. If Sumner hadn't had those extra procedures then we would have been left owing $3500 instead of $500! It just goes to show you that ALL things happen for a reason and we just need to trust and have faith things will work out!
The second WOW moment is about Sumner's formula. Like I said earlier, he had problems after he was born. We finally realized he has bad food allergies. They started him out on a hypoallergenic formula which is more expensive than regular formula. This was going when I was stressing out about his high priced meds and hospital bills. Now I added expensive formula to the mix. Well, a friend of mine (thanks Samantha), found out Sumner had to start taking it and told me she had about 12 cans she didn't need any more and told me I could have them! So, we used those for a while. Well, it helped at first, but then he started having the same symptoms, so we went to a pediatric GI specialist in Macon who put him on a different and even MORE EXPENSIVE formula. It is a amino-based formula. You have to either order it from the company or get it from a pharmacy. When Matthew and I went to buy some for the first time we about passed out when they told us the price.... $54 for a 14 oz can! Again, this was going on BEFORE I had my first WOW moment. So, I was very worried!!!! Well, the next week we took Sumner to his regular pediatrician for something and his sweet nurse who we LOVE gave us a whole case of the formula. Sumner is the only one of their patients who uses it so when they get samples they have no one else to give them to! A case doesn't feed him for a whole month, but it sure does help!!! Really, the way it balances out, we are paying far less on formula than we would have if he had been on regular formula! Also, this formula has been the FIX for him! Once he got on it he got OFF his two $95 a month copay medicines! So again, I worried, and God showed me again that he was taking care of us!
Now, the third WOW moment... I have been stressing about who was going to keep Sumner. I really wanted someone to come to our house so I didn't have to get him out in the mornings and so he could just be at his home where he feels comfortable! Up until a few weeks ago, we hadn't had any luck. And in the meantime, I had been getting very down about the thought of going back to work and having to leave him. I cried (still do cry) just about daily because I LOVE the time I have with him. I just can't even explain how I feel. It’s like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I have been been so happy or felt so complete in my whole life.... But anyway, back to the story.... I mentioned to his SWEET nurse (who I already said we LOVE) that I was looking for someone, and asked her to keep her eyes open for someone. Well, she came through for us! She got us in touch with a woman who was interested. Her name is Mrs. Zeigler aka MeeMee. She and Sumner's pediatrician's mama are best friend. She is a retired nurse who has kept children since she stopped working. The first thing she told me about herself was that she was a Christian! We met this past Thursday and we fell in love. She told us that we were really an answer to her prayers because she had been sitting for a little girl for a few years and it was just a bad situation. She had been praying about what to do when Dr. Griffen asked her about us! I mean it doesn't get any clearer than that that God brought us together. So, you see, God provided!
I don't know why I am so shocked or amazed by all of these things, but I was! I should have known God hears my prayers, and is diligent in answering them! Sometimes they just might not be the answer I wanted, but it is ok, because he has something better in store. I am so thankful for the blessings God has poured on me and my family. Sometimes I feel guilty for all of the things God has given me. I feel like I do not deserve them. Especially when I look around at so many people who are suffering or hurting. All I can do is be thankful for what he has given me and BE SURE to give him ALL the praise and glory! It is not anything I have done, it is all what he has done, and I am truly grateful!
I do have a prayer request, though. As happy as I am to have such a wonderful person to keep Sumner, I am still struggling with the thought of leaving him to go to work. I LOVE my job! I REALLY do! I know God called me to be a teacher! I have never "hated going to work" like many people. If it wasn't for Sumner, I would be dying to go back! So, please pray for if it is in his will, to allow me to be able to stay home next year. But, also pray that if it isn't his will, that he will give me peace about it! I am also going to need a lot of prayers November 5, which is when I go back to work!
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